Navigating Loneliness as a College Freshman

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at TAMU chapter and does not reflect the views of Her Campus.

I’ve been in college for over six weeks now. I’ve met probably more people these past few weeks than I did the whole of high school. But despite being surrounded by so many new faces constantly, I have found that college life is lonely. I keep waiting for my high school friends to show up on my walks to class, my lunches, my rides on the bus, but (spoiler alert) they never do. I go to class with my peers, study in a library full of students like me, and ride home in a packed bus. Ironically, being part of a collective doesn’t make you less lonely. In some ways, it makes you even lonelier. 

I’ve made friends in my classes- but, we all know how it goes: name, major, maybe where you’re from, and so on. It doesn’t usually amount to anything outside of class. I’ve joined orgs and met some cool people, but are they my people? It’s like I’m just waiting for this tight-knit group of good friends to magically appear in my life and make college what I’ve dreamed it to be, but life isn’t a movie. Neither is college, despite how it’s been presented to us: the best years of our lives, the epitome of youth. If you’re a freshman and you’re not yet having the time of your life, you’re not alone. If every day is monotone, tiring, and a bit bland, if college isn’t what you expected and you’re struggling with change, you’re not abnormal. 

The other thing I’ve learned about myself after entering college is that I’m impatient. I’ve heard that these years are supposed to be the best time of my life, so when does that start? I’ve heard that I need to wait and I’ll find my people eventually, but I feel like I’m running out of time. I want it all now. High school went by so fast that I feel like I shouldn’t take any second for granted in college, the final years before adulthood really hit, but what if I don’t get the chance to take advantage of them?

Dealing with this loneliness and impatience these past few weeks, I’ve coped by understanding a few key things:

1. Learning to find happiness in your own company is just as important as finding friends. 

No one can help feeling lonely, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t joy to find in daily life by yourself. Do things you enjoy, like going for coffee, shopping, or even just a walk, even if you don’t have anyone to go with. Sometimes stages like these are perfect for relearning yourself, your hobbies, and your passions. The person who deserves your time, love, and care first and foremost will always be yourself.

2. Appreciate the smallest things.

It sounds like a cliche, but when you’re feeling isolated or in your head, take a breath and look around. College is so busy that sometimes life just blurs by, but there are beautiful things around you every day. If you’re walking on campus, take a moment to appreciate the leaves starting to fall, the occasional breeze on your skin, and the squirrels running around. Life exists in every corner, and that’s a testament to how none of us are truly alone. 

3. Sometimes you do everything you can, and all that’s left is to wait.

It’s not an easy thing to hear when you’re already impatient and feel like you can’t wait any longer, but when you’re already putting in effort to meet people and put yourself out there, the only thing left to do is see what time brings. If you know you’re doing your part, the rest is not in your hands. Accepting we have no control in some parts of life is hard, but it can also be a comfort. Don’t bury your feelings, but also don’t beat yourself up over them. Let yourself feel what you’re feeling and keep living through it. Everyone’s college journeys are different, so don’t compare yourself or think this is the defining, end-all be-all part of college. There is so, so much more to come. Eventually, we’ll stumble across a time where we look back and go, “I never would have believed back then that I would be here right now.”