HOW TO ROMANTICIZE LETTING GO

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Wisconsin chapter and does not reflect the views of Her Campus.

Lighter hearts and clearer minds

The first month of school is officially in the books here at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, which means fall is right around the corner. While it’s tempting to associate autumn with pumpkin spice lattes, eye-catching Halloween costumes and re-watching Gilmore Girls for the third time (guilty as charged), there are better ways to spend this apple cider season. Hot Girl Summer is for partying. Golden Girl Fall? That’s for prioritizing peace, presence and poise. If you’re ready to be intentional with your fall habits, here’s my list of six habits I’m giving up this season that I hope will inspire you to do the same.

1. Holding Grudges

I think we all have moments where stubbornness rules our judgment. Whether it was a feud with an old friend or a dirty look from a girl outside the gym, this is your time to forgive and forget. Now, forgiving doesn’t mean reopening doors that are better left closed; it means giving yourself the freedom to release the emotional baggage they brought. Grudges drain your energy and block your self-growth, leaving you with more hurt and anger than the other person. Respect yourself enough to let go of those who don’t support you and your aspirations. Let go of that grudge—and hold your chin a little higher as you walk away from what no longer serves you.

2. Having Clutter

Clutter isn’t cute—mental or physical. A clear space means a clear mind and vice versa. Now, just because you organized your closet this week doesn’t mean you’re done uncluttering. Clearing a space has to be a habit—not a one-time task. Remember: consistency over complexity. Focus on daily patterns you can easily implement to keep your space tidy, and reflect on ways you can de-stress at the end of each day to clear your mind of any unwanted thoughts or negative energy. (Personally, my go-to relaxation practice is watching an episode or two of Abbott Elementary in my PJs after a nice bubble bath).

3. Over-Apologizing

Now, this is where I struggle the most. Over-apologizing is a defense mechanism rooted in low self-esteem, fear of conflict or the worry of burdening others. Saying sorry for things that aren’t your fault won’t solve problems—it simply gives the impression that you lack confidence and makes your genuine apologies seem less heartfelt. Try replacing your unnecessary apologies with more assertive language (e.g., instead of saying “Sorry to bother you,” try “Could I talk with you for a minute?”). This slight switch in language strengthens your communication style and reinforces the value of your time and self-worth.

4. Making Comparisons

“Comparison is the thief of joy.” – Theodore Roosevelt.

In college, I’ve found it incredibly challenging not to compare myself to those around me. There are girls with exceptional grades, more impressive achievements and a much better fashion sense than I have. But it’s essential to recognize the strengths that set you apart. If you are being challenged academically, use it as an opportunity to study harder, ask more questions and learn from others’ successes. We all have our own unique abilities; comparing ourselves to others only leads to disappointment—when, really, we should strive for pride in our own growth and achievements.

5. Being Anxious

Deadlines, exams and the challenge of balancing involvement—this is all normal in college, but it creates intense pressure and stress for students. In a 2024 college student survey, 35% of respondents reported being diagnosed with anxiety, while 77% expressed concerns about anxiety to healthcare professionals (College Student Mental Health Statistics – 2024 – College Transitions). With already having a full plate of responsibility, learning what study tactics work best for you—and establishing a reliable study routine—is crucial to your academic success. At the same time, maintaining mental health is about more than studying skills. Social outings, time with friends and moments of shared community play pivotal roles in building connections and sustaining your happiness. Lastly, it’s important to learn how to say “no.” Juggling extracurriculars, homework, work, social events and more is practically impossible if you don’t set boundaries that value your time and energy. It is easy to stretch yourself thin if you don’t prioritize what you enjoy. Don’t burn yourself out by trying to do it all. Do what you love, and love doing it.

6. Being Too Self-Reliant

When you go off to college, you gain a newfound sense of independence—no more reporting to your parents, no curfew and the freedom to do what you want when you want. But this is a slippery slope. Self-reliance is liberating—until you feel emotionally isolated when you need support. Take advantage of the new friendships you’ve made and confide in someone if you’re having a bad day. You might feel like you have to internalize your emotions because everyone else is having a good time; I promise you, this isn’t the case. Being strong doesn’t mean being silent. Admitting to trusted friends that you need to vent, or just someone to talk to about your stresses, is completely valid. You can also self-regulate your emotions by keeping a journal to reflect on the highs and lows of the day.

As this season shifts, so should our mindset. Fall invites us to slow down and reflect—not just on what we want to do, but on who we want to be. Implementing even one or two of these habits can encourage a healthier, more grounded mental state. So, this October, fall into a state of mindfulness by pursuing your personal growth—one intentional step at a time.